7.1 – The One Where They Go To Uni

 SHAKESPEARE’S IN CHARGE, BABY! I seriously can’t believe I made it to Generation Seven – I’m so excited!

Proceeds to procrastinate writing the first post by doing literally anything else. Including becoming a low-key alcoholic, actually working on my book (shocker), writing more fanfiction, almost crying because I am far too in love with a fictional character, and reading three books.

Yvaine: I still can’t believe you’re the head of this fucking generation.

Shakespeare: I know! Rock on, sista!?

Yvaine: Please never, ever, say that again.

Shakespeare: Stupid Yvaine… Doesn’t appreciate my attempts to be cool like her…

Shakespeare’s final trait was Kleptomaniac, which I totally neglected to mention in the last post. He’s also got the Master Theif LTW!

Tristan: Hey.. Danita… Did you want to come over and hang out o-or something?

I feel so mean. Tristan invites over the only girl that actively talks to him, and I do this.

Shakespeare: Hey, remember me?

Danita: Nope, only your snobby older brother.

Shakespeare: Well, this got off to a wonderful start.

Danita: He’ll never see this coming.

Shakespeare: Haha, you got me good with that one!

They didn’t heartfart or anything, so I decided to spice things up.

Tristan: No! You can’t have her! She was my friend first! You can’t take my only friend from me!

Shakespeare: Hey, hey, it wasn’t my decision to do this!

Danita: You know there’s something different about you… Something that makes me drawn to you…

*Remus and Billy casually getting it on in the background*

Shakespeare: I guess Tristan’s better than we give him credit for…

These two got on really well, but there was no heartfarting and that’s what usually decides a relationship for me.

But it’s okay, because I have a backup plan 😉

Everyone is always ambushing Yvaine, I guess because of her irresistible trait. It’s pretty funny.

Yvaine: I was trying to consider the hollowness of life. Please leave me the fuck alone.

Victoria: But… art?

This was around the time that I went a little bit nuts and covered the entire driveway area with enough lights to power a small country.

Una: Are we sure this is safe?

You spend all your time working out, you are possibly the most athletically capable sim I’ve had in a while, and yet you question the safety of a waterslide?

Una: You can never be too careful!

Yvaine: I only know music theory and Fall Out Boy lyrics. This is not a good fucking idea.

Victoria: Do you feel like giving me the answers, or am I going to have to fend for myself here?

Yvaine: Did you ever help me with my homework? Fuck off, did you.

Shakespeare: So like, why are we doing all of these?

Victoria: Quiet. I got something and it’s not what I was expecting.

Una: So if the train is moving at 40mph, and it’s 15 degrees outside…. how many mangoes does Timmy have?

Shakespeare: You know, I’m thinking let’s not get Tristan involved in this. Also, what’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Una: African or European?

*

What less of our accomplished heir?

Well, she has completed her lifelong dream.

Rekt.

Yvaine: Fuck you!

Tristan: So… I heard you were thinking of going to Uni without me. You know I’m a witch who could just curse you, don’t you, Yvaine?

Yvaine: Uhhh…

Una: Yeah, Yvaine. How could you consider going without him?

Yvaine: Look, it’s complicated!

*

Una: Yeah, so there are four of us wanting to enrol – awesome, we’ll see you soon!

Yvaine: Dude, do you think there’ll be food where we’re going? I’m fucking starving!

Shakespeare: We’re going to a Uni house, Yvaine! So, no.

Remus was all up and ready to see them off, but then he changed him mind and wandered off instead.

Remus: They’re taking too goddamn long. I’ve got stuff to do!

Tristan: Da-ad, make them take me with them!

Shakespeare: Is nobody else concerned that our van is only partially complete? And where’s Yvaine??

Una: Don’t worry so much, I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

Yvaine: FUCK YEAH I’M ON THE ROOF, BITCHES!

So, everyone arrived at Uni in one piece (more or less), and I took the opportunity to go around and check on the locals.

Fashion Disaster girl is still going strong, it seems.

And my favourite Emo Rebel is still going strong, too!

Victoria: Shit, we were supposed to bring bags? All I have is this dumb backpack and these clothes.

Yvaine: Don’t you know that the kids aren’t all – kids aren’t alright?

Shakespeare has been here all of five minutes and is already heartfarting one of his housemates.

Shakespeare: I got mad game with the ladies.

Una: Not with that body, you don’t.

Una: Pick up the pace, slacker! You call that running!?

Shakespeare: No, I call it abuse!!

What happened to skive hard, play hard?

Tory: We’re paying for this. It’s different.

Yvaine: I was trying to have a deep, philosophical conversation with myself, so if you could kindly fuck off to somebody’s welcoming party, that’d be grand.

Holly:  Weren’t you were singing Fall Out Boy?

Tory: You know, Fall Out Boy do have some really great songs, especially if you break them down to their artistry…

Yvaine: Is It Legal To Kill Someone Because They Insulted My Favourite Band, a song by Fall Out Boy.

Tamora: So, you’re a Gordon, huh? Do you know Eli?

Una: Eli? My great great great great uncle? Sure I do!

Tamora: …. How old am I??

So, aftter horrifying one of our housemates and potentially sending her into an existential crisis, everyone decided to head down to the Sims equivalent of a Freshers Fair.

Yvaine: This bike was definietly not in my hand luggage.

Don’t ask questions.

Shakespeare: I love your hair!

Liz: Thanks, I like your face.

Shakespeare: … What?

Then they proceeded to dance together.

Shakespeare: I used to be a fairy, once.

Liz: Once?

Una also manages to find the only freaking lecture at the fair, and proceed to sit in on it.

Along with the depressed mascot.

Mascot: My name’s Marvin.

Tory: What do you think of Ed Sheeran’s new album!?

Yvaine: Haven’t listened. Waiting for more Fall Out Boy.

Tory: Hi, I’m Victoria! You’re the bartender, right?

Jerry: I’m Jerry Wheeler, and I’m a business major.

My boyfriend has been getting to me, because that made me think of the YuGiOh dude.

Yvaine: Finally, now I can play Undertale in peace!

That’s not… Oh, whatever.

Una: You know, I don’t think this guy was all that attractive.

He’s also dead.

Shakespeare continues to bond with Liz, which I am very happy to let him do.

Victoria has abandoned Joey Jerry and decided to once again plague Yvaine.

Yvaine: Don’t you think you could look more heroic, or something?

I considered this as her trait card. I might still use it!

Tory: Reach! For the stars! Climb every mountain higher…

Una: Okay, acting cool… How about pool!?

Nobody is impressed.

Una moves on to being beaten at table tennis by Marvin the Mascot, and Shakespeare tries to impress Liz by playing foozball.

It’s going well, clearly.

Vick: Speaking of heroic…

Yvaine: Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold…

Yvaine: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.

I have never read or studied Hamlet sue me

Yvaine: Uh, who the fuck is this guy?

Tory: I don’t know, but he’s cute for some reason?

Yvaine: Tell me about it.

So, on the first night on campus, Una gets invited to a party by this guy, Jeffery Dean!

And this is where all it all goes to shit.

Jeffery: Una Gordon! I’m so glad you could come to the first house party thrown by this awesome guy!

Una: Oooh, there’s going to be more!?

Oh boy.

Una: I definietly need to be more drunk to deal with this.

Jeffery: Chill, all great house parties have at least one streaker, right?

Then, juiced and following a dare, Una decides to make out with tonight’s lovely host.

Jeffery: All great house parties!

Tamora: I could’ve been her fucking great something aunt. I need more alcohol.

Shakespeare: Soo, Holly… What brings you to uni?

Holly: I heard so many stories about finding love… How about you?

Shakespeare: I’m really excited about my classes, you know? We’re going to learn so much, and we get to stay up late and party!

Holly: I have to go.

Tamora: I KNEW YOUR FUCKING GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT UNCLE OH GOD.

Jeffery: What’s she on about?

Una: Uh, who knows!? Every great house party needs a crazy drunk, right?

Yvaine: When Rome’s in ruins, we are the lions, free of the coliseums…

Why are you in a bathroom!?

Shakespeare: I really don’t know where I went wrong!

You take after Remus in so many ways…

Victoria: I didn’t get an invite to the party, but that’s okay! I’m my own party!! I don’t need anyone else!!

… Are you okay?

Victoria: No!!

Una: Yeah! That’s it, Jeffery, feel the burn!

Jeffery: This is not what I meant by ‘something physical’, but if you’re having a good time…

I decided to let everyone find their own way to bed, to see which bed/room they’d choose.

Interesting choice, Shakespeare.

Shakespeare: It was the first one I found, okay!?

However, it turns out he’s going to be room sharing with his best friend, so it’s not all bad!?

---

I think I’m going to poke around the Uni for spouses, I really love Liz, and Una and Jeffery have turned out to be really good for each other, too! At least this way means that future generations won’t end up borderline incestuous, I guess…

Also, there will soon (‘soon’) be a few new posts up on my distractions blog; I’ve got lots to talk about!