Welcome back, folks, to the rampaging shit-show that is the Gordon Legacy! It has been a whole two months since I last posted, so not my biggest gap – that award goes to the Evans, who I have abandoned for over four months at a time. At least. But for some reason, it still feels like way longer! Maybe I’ve just done more than normal…
Anyway, my point is that I’m here with another post, and I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking when I took most of these screenshots, so prepare yourself for an utter trainwreck of a post!
RECAP; Shakespeare took over the legacy house, I tentatively set him up with Danita Whalers-Sw0rd, everyone except Tristan enrolled at Uni, Shakespeare immediately heartfarted with half of their housemates, Una gave Tamora an aneurysm by reminding her of Eli, Shakespeare started a romance with Liz, Victoria started hitting on Jerry Wheeler, Una got invited to a party by Jeffery Dean and proceeded to make out with him, Shakespeare tried and failed at flirting with Holly, and I managed to cover one day at Uni in one post.
Holly: It was like this when I found it.
You’d fit right in at the legacy house…
Yvaine: Dude, we have two fridges, but there’s nothing in here except some eggs, a mysterious furry substance that could have once been cheese, and some milk that’s about two weeks out of date. What the fuck?
Victoria: First day of class, who’s excited!?
Shakespeare: I’m terrified.
Yvaine: God, who the fuck gets up this early? It’s still dark out!
Shakespeare: I’m just gonna turn around and pretend I never saw that – it’s far too early in the day for this.
In a desperate attempt to ignore the University weirdness (spoiler, it never works), Shakespeare sits down to study, because he’s actually early for class.
Shakespeare: Don’t get used to it.
Day one, and this poor girl’s mood has already dropped so slow that she’s unable to stop herself from going wolf.
I guess this is a sign of things to come…
Shakespeare: I can’t believe he’s still here. This isn’t happening. Nope. No. No no no no no.
Victoria: This is the guy you were telling me about this morning?
Yvaine is also not having a good day.
I think I witness some failed flirting, and then this guy ran away practically crying. It’s not that bad, dude!
Una: Okay, I’m here, I’ve been seen, I’m going home to bed.
Seen by who!?
Victoria: Shakespeare, neither of us have any idea what you’re talking about, and Yvaine is practically asleep on her feet. Maybe we should just go to bed?
Yvaine: Zzz… fuck yeah…
Yvaine: Zzzz… Tamora… zzzz… I’m gonna shove a paint pallet so far up your ass if you don’t take that guitar out of my fucking bedroom… zzZZZzzz…
Shakespeare: I can’t tell whether my food’s done or not, I can’t see through the layer of grime over the little window.
I will never understand the obsessions sims have with playing in leaves. I’ve done it once, and it was smelly and wet.
What happened to paint pallets?
Yvaine: I figured I’d just crush her spirit by showing my superior talent that she could never hope to beat.
Yeah, but doesn’t Uni do that for you?
Shakespeare’s on a date with our lovely rebel, Liz! She really is one of my favourite sims.
Shakespeare: You know, your hair is almost the same shade as my favourite colour…
Why can none of my sims flirt successfully?
Well, I guess it was somewhat successful.
Also, why are all of these shots set up so artfully? What was I aiming to do here?
Shakespeare: Date ruined, let’s go.
Class is in session and everybody else is studing. Except for Una. Una’s playing kicky bag.
Una: I’m smarter than these fools put together. Also, I’ve completed my lifetime dream, so why am I here?
Yvaine and Victoria have their first open class together.
Yvaine: I’m gonna nap, you give me your notes afterwards, yeah?
I thought you were supposed to be on a date!?
Shakespeare: Not anymore.
Shakespeare: What does that guy I have that I don’t? I have nice hair! I’m buff! He has a jumper that looks like it hasn’t been washed since 2009, which was when it was last in fashion.
Shakespeare: There’s a fine, fine line between love… and a waste of time.
Asala: Okay, I’m not going to judge you for drowning your sorrows, but for the love of God, don’t sing while doing a kegstand unless you want to literally drown.
Una: Oh hey, Jeff! Nice of you to come to my sister’s party!
Jeff: I never miss a party!
Victoria: Oh, Jerry! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!
Jerry: I’ve been around.
Victoria: What was that for!?
Una: Sorry, Shakespeare ran past. Naked. I did not to see my little brother like that…
Victoria: Shut up, did Jerry see you do that?
Una: Yeah, he’s staring right at us.
Victoria: Make it look intentional!
Shakespeare: Who invited Liz!?
Sarah: Did somebody say Liz Tarry!? I love her!
Shakespeare: No, she’s evil.
Victoria: Jerry, no! I’m sorry for whatever I did!
Una: Whose stupid idea what this damn party?
Seriously, nobody went inside for this entire party. It was just an outside clusterfuck.
Also, Asala appears to be some kind of kegstand-angel.
Cop: Alright, break it up!
Victoria: I’ll see you again, Jerry!
Jerry: I live across campus, not on Mars…
Victoria and Una are sharing a room, too.
Shakespeare: IT’S 3AM AND I’M TOO HUNGOVER FOR THIS SHIT. WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?
Shakespeare, I don’t think gaming is a good hangover cure.
Shakespeare: Well, I’m not drinking raw egg yolk, whatever you say.
Just go back to bed.
Cade: Aren’t video games great!?
Yvaine: Why are you in my bedroom this early?
Una: Ah, the sleeping beauty awakes. How’s your head?
Shakespeare: Why is it so bright in here?
Yvaine: God, she’s really wearing that?
Don’t judge people.
Yvaine: It’s too early for morals.
That lady by the fire there? Turns out she’s a professor, I think.
Also, Matthew is such a ladies man.
Selfie outside the halls time!
Una: Jeff, again!?
Una: Oh please god no.
I made the whole family go, which may have been a big mistake.
Shakespeare: Why, hello there.
Yvaine: Do you wanna fucking back off, bitch!?
Shakespeare: Abigail is such a pretty name, just like you…
Yvaine: I’ll beat you so hard your fucking brain will fall out, don’t test me.
Una: Please help me.
It doesn’t take long for the party to fall apart completely, with Una drinking in the kitchen;
Yvaine playing for tips, and Victoria sketching in the hallway.
Shakespeare: I’m not going to drink tonight. I swear.
Now it’s just my heir who doesn’t have a trait card!
Shakespeare: On second thoughts… Maybe if I drink enough I won’t remember this night.
Una: At least we never have to see these people again!?
Yvaine: Thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great!
Don’t ask me why Yvaine has no filter, I have genuinely no idea.
Una: Oh alcohol, please let me forget that I just saw my sister run naked through some guy’s house.
Shakespeare: Isn’t it too early for that, Jen?
Jennifer: It’s never too early for booze.
Shakespeare: Hey, Liz? Fancy meeting me at that coffee place around the corner? Maybe we could try our date again.
Shakespeare: I hate her!
He literally walked in and accused her of cheating, I think. Well, so much for that plan, then.