7.4 – The One Where They Graduate Twice

I have no excuses.

I figured that now I have posts up to 7.7 laid out and Shakespeare has just witnessed the birth of his first baby (well, he was actually inside eating spaghetti while his partner gave birth outside), I probably should get a shift on with the actual writing parts if this thing. Especially if I want to finish before the end of the year, which is looking increasingly unlikely.

Shakespeare: Didn’t we just do exams? Why are we still here?

It never ends, buddy.

Yvaine: One more week. Halfway through.

You can do it. Be your own hero. 

Shakespeare: This is how to party.

Shakespeare: You know what, this is a really nice desk lamp. I want it.

Your klepto trait makes its first appearance and you steal a desk lamp? Nice to see you’re aiming high.

But, I got a trait card out of it! Though I don’t like it that much and will probably redo it.

Una: I heartily apologise for my baby brother.

I have no idea who’s bedroom this is.

Una: I can’t believe you got us kicked out of the party for sleeping with Liz.

Shakespeare: Worth it.

Shakespeare: This is a last minute cram session before my next exam.

You have five minutes between the exam you just finished and the exam you’re about to have, I don’t think you’re going to learn much.

Shakespeare: That’s why it’s called Last Minute.

I couldn’t be bothered to take screencaps of all three exams this time round, but everyone passed and nobody got caught cheating.

Do I have any memory of who this phone call was to or about?

No, of course not.

Una: Holly… have you considered, um, showering?

Holly: Can’t talk. Eating.

Yvaine: Seriously? Why have you all followed me into the bathroom!? I just want to pee!

Una: Report cards are in today and I don’t want to be alone.

Shakespeare: I just want to talk about video games.

Victoria: So. The report card is here…

Victoria: Success!

Una: I don’t wanna look!

Shakespeare: Whatever happens now, you’re my sister and I love you.

Una: Way to fill me with confidence, little bro.

Una: So. How did you do?

Shakespeare: You tell me how you did, first.

Una & Shakespeare: Victory!

Shakespeare: It’s so beautiful.

Yvaine: You’re fucking kidding me, right?

Yeah, I don’t know how they did it, either.

Victoria: Time to celebrate by getting drunk!

How predictable.

They threw some sort of haphazard and thoroughly disorganised party about ten minutes before their graduation ceremony.

Victoria found Jerry and that was that.

Shakespeare: You have been here all of thirty seconds. Did you arrive naked!? WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?

Liz: I’m just gonna… go into this room.

Shakespeare: I have never been happier than to escape my own party.

Victoria: Uh, dad? What happened to you?

Yvaine: This will haunt my fucking nightmares forever.

Instead of going inside to celebrate his kids graduation, Remus hangs around outside to chat with the locals.

Holly: Isn’t that your sister!?

Yvaine: I refuse to render properly in protest.

Shakespeare: I’ve just had the best idea ever.

Una: Shakespeare, no.

Shakespeare: Victoria, wait for me!

Una: Oh dear lord no.

Shakespeare: This is the greatest idea I’ve ever had in my life.

Victoria: I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore!

And from here he became offically known as my ‘trash son’. Because, honestly, what an idiot.

No regrets.

Yvaine: You’re… You sure are pretty…

Una: Oh god, it keeps getting worse.

Remus: You know, while you were away, I beat all of your high scores!

I think it was around this point that I suffered some… technical difficulties. Shakespeare was the only one to successfully graduate and gain his extra trait. Everyone else sort of bugged out, I guess? So I restarted the game (minus the party) and we had Graduation 2.0.

Remus: No. Just, no.

Shakespeare: No regrets!

Tristan: So many regrets.

Did anyone miss this guy? I didn’t.

Billy: I… I’m proud of you, Yvaine. Your father and I had bets on whether or not you’d actually pass.

Yvaine: Rude. But you’re welcome.

Billy: No, I lost.

Yvaine: Finally, I can go home and sleep in my own fucking bed!

I think I gave her artistic as her bonus trait, because I figured it would help with her musical dreams.

Shakespeare: I have never been more glad to own a useless piece of paper.

His degree won’t even help him with his career, the loser, and I gave him the rebellious trait because it suits his personality.

Una: Yes, finally!

As she’s already completed her LTW, I rolled for her trait and she got Friendly.

Victoria: Most useless degree ever!

I also rolled for her trait, and she got charismatic, though in hindsight I should’ve picked Photographer’s Eye. Maybe I didn’t pick the traits for them, after all? Pfft, who knows.

Housemates: Bye losers!!

Shakespeare: Bye Tamora! Maybe you’ll meet my great great grandkids someday!

Tamora: …. Somebody get me some vodka.

Yvaine: So… we made it. Does anyone feel traumatised?

Victoria: Yes.

Shakespeare: Suddenly I appreciate the feel of a motorbike all the more…

I wonder why that could be.

Hi Sirius!

Billy: So, nothing important just happened, right?

Remus: Nope.

Una: Hey, Jeff! Party in the homeland, you in!? Awesome, see you tomorrow.

Victoria: It’s so weird being home after so long.

Shakespeare: Tell me about it. The internet here is god awful!

Predictably, Yvaine makes straight for the nearest piano.

Yvaine: Look, I’m having a good time. I’m destressing from that bullshit education system.

Did you eve do any work?

Yvaine: Fuck you, I got an A.

Also predictably, Una makes straight for the the martial arts training dummy. You know, you’ve mastered both skills and completed your lifetime wish, you don’t have to do that anymore.

Una: It makes me happy.

Tristan is also immediately booted from the legacy house.

Tristan: You used to love me… I was your favourite!

Yeah, and then you grew up bitter and Shakespeare grew up handsome. Smell ya later!

Tristan: *sobs*

Una: Run, bitch, run!

Shakespeare: What happened to your friendly, motivational speeches!?

Una: You started acting like a weak-ass bitch. TOUGHEN UP, SHITBAG.

Meanwhile, on the more peaceful side of the room…

Shakespeare: At least in this ‘sport’, we have a level playing field.

Una: Haven’t we both maxed this skill?

The hell if I know.

Hey Boa! Nice of you to come and meet your descendants…

Brendan: Awww, zombie, you so cute!!

Zombie: Brains?

I have no idea what this picture was supposed to even be, but let’s just take this moment to appreciate and admire Una’s muscley thighs.

Your boyfriend is here!

Una: I’m having my early morning swim.

But Jeff is here!!

Una: I’m having my early morning swim.

Jeff: So, I’m here! Did you need help with the party set up or something, because I don’t see any party supplies here!

Una: Actually, it’s kind of a private party.

(Not to detract from the adorable proposal, but I really, really love this lot’s backgarden)

And now Una & Jeff are married! And because I know I’ll forget to put these updates at any other point, they currently (as of the birth of Shakespeare’s first child) have two girls, Shanna & Carina!