Welcome back to the trainwreck legacy! If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably completely forgotten what’s happened here. Though that’s kinda bad for me, considering it’s my own legacy. However I have played pretty far forward and haven’t opened the game up in a while.
So! Last chapter was what could be appropriately described as ‘horrific’. I just read it back and god, I am so sorry.
Ella Gordon – our first potential heiress was born, and aged into a child pretty quickly, because I am a lazy phototaker and had really awful screencaps and notes from last chapter. Hopefully, this one will be better, but as I’ve been personally victimised by my sleep pattern for the last few days, I’m not holding out much hope. Good luck, brave readers!
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Suspicions confirmed – the toilet is still broken.
Oh, and potential Heir/Heiress number two is on the way!
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Hera: You smell like sick.
Lori: Nice to see you, too.
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The animals are remembered in this household! … Occasionally. And Joel’s butt is always singing.
Bella: You smell like that horse. I must correct this immediately.
Lori: Oh Bella, you’re so cute.
Hera: Joel, your butt is singing. Again. I will rip that thing out of your pocket with my teeth, and so help me if I take a chunk of you with me.
Joel: Chill! You know.. ’cause it’s winter!?
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Like a good legacy simmer, I stalked Ella on her first day of school to see if there were any male children she could make friends with for the future. This is literally the only sim in her class. Oh boy do I need to put Story Progression back in my game soon!
Ella: I’ve nothing against being gay but… you don’t have the mod in and please not her.
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Ella: Maths is hard. Can’t I just write music instead?
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Bella: Die bitch!
Yeah, Bella really doesn’t like Ella for some reason. Maybe it’s because she’s taken the ending to her name? Or the fact that Lori and I both pay even less attention to her now because Ella exists? Either way, it’s fun to watch.
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Lori: Surprise! I’m pregnant!
YOU DON’T SAY!?
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Lori: Joel, I have something to tell you.
Joel: *Please don’t be pregnant, please don’t be pregnant*.
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Lori: I’m pregnant!
Joel: Uh. Yay!
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Joel: Well done!
Lori: What the fuck?
Seriously though, Joel had the wishes ‘have child with Lori’, ‘have child’ and then rolled ‘have a boy’ after this. Somebody really wants a child…
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Did you know if you’re pregnant you can still ride a broom? And did you know if you ride a broom in a dress, the broom handle just goes straight through the dress?
Lori: Magic, huh?
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Lori: Behold, the power of the Magic Hands! No longer do I need that inferior piece of wood to channel my magic through; I feel it coursing through my veins like blood, and can harness the power at will.
Innocent Old Lady: Crazy witch on a rampage! It’s too late for me, save yourselves!
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This poor girl hasn’t been allowed to leave her art station, but she’s doing pretty well skill-wise. My notes say ‘level 4’, which is actually pretty quick considering.
Ella: I haven’t been allowed to leave this room. The only time I get to see the outside is when I’m walking to the bus in the morning. This easel even blocks the window. What does the sun look like?
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Lori: Aren’t the default maternity clothes just the best?
Don’t even talk to me about that disgusting dishcloth coloured… thing this game put you in. It’s an insult to my eyes.
Also, who do you think you are with your hair through your shoulder like that? Elsa?
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Oh yes, custom content hair. The sad thing must be how used to it I am that I don’t actually realise until I’m looking for things to caption these with!
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Joel: If we feed this one more, will it scream less than Ella?
Lori: I don’t know, but let’s try it.
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I’m actually kind of worried here, she’s freaking huge and I do not want twins! I’m happy with two kids only in generation two!
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Apparently it helps if you fuse your arm with a vase of roses when mending a sink.
Lori: Isn’t there a spell for this?
Nope, good old fashioned hard work.
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Speaking of hardwork…
Ella: Can I leave yet?
No. How did you get a mobile? Seriously, what is this game? Kids can have phones but they can’t play instruments? GAH.
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Lori: Why did I want to go through this again!?
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Lori: Lol jks, I’m fine.
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Joel: OH MY GOD, YOU’RE IN LABOUR! WHAT TO DO!?
Lori: Are you kidding me?
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Lori: Hey, you’re on time for this birth!
Joel: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
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Now, I found this completely hilarious. He tried to take Lori to the hospital autonomously which I did not want, so cancelled the action from her queue. But I didn’t realise that it was Joel who’d started the action and then I couldn’t actually cancel it, and he drove all the way to the hospital on the other side of the map without her.
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Lori: Well, at least I’m at home with my cat!
Bella: *is nowhere to be seen*
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A sparkly, life changing moment!
… Yeah right.
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Eli Gordon! A friendly genius, with a taste roots music, lilac, and … mushroom omelettes. How disgusting.
Lori: Flowery Dinosaur baby!
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So, now this is it for Generation Two (these two are your potential heir/heiress guys!) I can go ahead and update the ‘Understanding The Crazy‘ for this generation!
Eli definitely has Joel’s skin colour, so maybe his features will be the reverse of Ella’s too? Something I realise I didn’t mention, nobody got Lori’s witch powers! Boo 😦
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I told you he drove to the hospital by himself, right?
Here is the idiot, standing outside the hospital doors and reading a book, because he’s completely incapable of going home!
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It took me a few minutes of incomprehensible stupidity to work out who the hell this random sim standing in my kitchen was. And then I realised.
It’s Joel.
Joel: Sup?
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Lori: Who’s a cute little Dinosaur that doesn’t scream incessantly!?
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Lori: I changed my mind. Not you!
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Ella: My first still life painting of my mother… Soon, I’ll be unchained from this nightmare and released into the world!
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Lori: Rock on!
Ella: Mother… what are you doing?
Hera: Who the hell are you, child? I’ve never seen you before.
Joel: Where did my head go?
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Why is it that at every party I throw, at least one guest turns up invited? Who the hell is that old lady stamping about with a walking stick?
Also, remember Ella’s ‘friend’ from school last chapter? That’s the teen with the umbrella. Give me back my story progression!! D:
Bella: The amount of people here disturbs me.
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Lori: Joel, you’re embarrassing me.
Joel: deadinside.jpg
Eli: Is that fire!?
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Please not another pyromaniac.
Happy birthday dinosaur brain!
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Eli: Who are you calling Dinosaur Brain? I’m into monkey’s now.
Whatever you say, Dino boy.
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He is one hell of a cute toddler though! Watch out Ella!
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Ella: For what summons am I being freed from the shackles of my easel?
You finished your first portrait! You’ve scored me two points girl, well done!
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Lori: Happy birthday Ella!
Ella: Is this… for me? I’ve been freed from my room to have a birthday party!? And who’s that boy on the floor?
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She’s so cute! I love her loads, even if I do just shut her in the box bedroom and make her paint things for hours on end.
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Seriously. What is wrong with the family?
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Teen Ella! Still rolling with the turquoise thing, plus I gave her an apron to signify her role as a painter.
Sort of going for the ‘freewheeling art hippie’ thing, especially since she rolled Green Thumb as her next trait. I don’t have many option for teen clothing though, so she’ll look pretty normal for now…
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Behold – bunk beds! Done in the favourite colours of the two children, and smushed in the corner of the tiny box bedroom.
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Unfortunately, Eli has also been cursed with an Imaginary Friend, named Pal. I try not to rename the IFs or choose their gender or anything, so I can see what the Sim themselves imagined!
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I guess Patterns and Ella didn’t have a good enough relationship, as it never aged into teen form?
Ella: Never had one lesson.
Alright there, Ferris.
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Legacy point three from Ella! The painting is kind of warped and icky, but so is Joel’s face so I think it’s perfectly fitting and I’m keeping it.
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FREE HOLIDAY BITCHES!
And that’s it! Neither Bella nor Hera showed their faces much this chapter, but they’re still around and being as annoying as ever! In fact, Joel does nothing but get on Hera, let her drink water, and then get off.
Next chapter let’s see if Ella can survive being in charge of the house and her baby brother for a weekend!
The Gordon Legacy 