My intention was to get 10 posts out this month, but unless I just binge post in the next few days, somehow I don’t see that happening. This is post number three and so I’ve gotten the bronze – I’m still gonna push for seven, though!
Ginny: So you know it was my birthday a few days ago?
Harry: Yeah, I watched you shoot up from the ground like a star.
Ginny: Anyway, it’s Remus and Luna’s birthdays soon, and mother says we’re to plan a surprise party and not to tell them.
Harry: How creative. Though, isn’t Remus literally standing over there?
Ginny: He’s too busy staring out of windows and thinking about the bleakness of life.
Remus: Some things in life should remain a mystery…
Ginny: Oh, it was up up down down left right right, not up up down right left right right!
Luna: I just lost.
You’re playing against yourself!
Luna: I’m just lost… to myself.
Harry: How’s it going?
Luna: Well, I lost to myself, so I’d say not very well.
Harry: How the fuck?
Bubbles: How are you doing this stuff!? Are you using cheats!
Ginny: No. I am an honourable child filled with goodness and sunshine, I wouldn’t possibly do such a thing.
Bubbles: I’m banning you from the PC.
While everybody else is doing the impossible or borderline illegal (if you’re Bubbles) things, Remus washes dishes. Oh, Remus…
Remus: I’m not doing anything interesting, so quit following me around with that camera.
But I want the people to love you as much as I do!
Ginny: Remus! Can you believe mother banned me from the computer, just because I used a cheat code her a beat her at a game?
Remus: I can’t believe your right leg is doing that.
Ginny: Now I just have to use comic books as my source of entertainment!
Remus: How about a game of rock, paper, scissors?
Ginny: Remus! I’m too tired for this shit.
Remus: Aw, I was just trying to cheer you up and do something interesting.
Ginny: Look, if you want people to like you, you’re gonna need a defining trait. Like Great-Grandma Lyra was headstrong and athletic, Grandma Mia was an acrobat and a dancer – not to mention the fact that she was gay – and our mother is a writer and gorgeous. Harry is developing megalomania over being famous, Luna is an insane genius, and I’m the Sunshine Child. You’re a neurotic clumsy mess, which I’m sure some people identify with, but you need to do something to prove yourself. I mean, loves the heat? What good is that in the middle of winter? Try to aim for something good when you become a teenager.
Remus: …. You’re younger than me, how do you know this stuff?
Ginny: I spend a lot of time in the musoleum. Now, go do some soul searching.
So where does Remus go first for his soul searching? The history channel.
Remus: I’m not sure this is helping…
If he wanted history, he should’ve just stayed up another few hours and then gone outside. Plenty of heirs hanging around tonight!
So nobody really used the TV room, and I figured that it would be a good idea to fulfill some wishes and buy this thing!
Harry: I’m gonna beat the shit out of you in this match!
Bubbles: GET REKT NOOB.
Harry: … What?
This is the single greatest purchase I have ever made for this family.
Bubbles: Ginny said I was gorgeous?
Luna: Good morning, Remus!
Remus: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not?
Remus: Or, perhaps you mean to say that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Luna: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Remus: Cool, I’m gonna go on the swings for a while before school.
Luna: Remus… Where did the cakes come from?
Remus: Well, I guess this is it. Goodbye to childhood, and here’s hoping I roll a trait that gives me some character substance to be able to compete with my siblings and not to hang in the background like a pair of curtains.
Luna: … What drugs are you taking!?
They blew out the candles in sync with each other – they’re twin-sync!
Being the oldest twin, Luna goes first.
Ginny: This is it Remus, time to roll a trait. Make it something good, okay?
Remus: That looks like it hurts…
Harry: Shoot up like a star, little sister!
Luna: How about that!?
She rolled Kleptomaniac!
Ginny: Come on Remus, something good!
Remus: That’s what I’m wishing for, I can do this!
Bubbles: I have no idea what you two are on about.
You will not believe the trait he rolled. I can’t even believe it. It’s so perfect, somehow the stars and fates aligned to make this the single greatest moment in the Gordon’s history.
Remus: DOG PERSON!
Harry: You know, it’s been a while since I’ve done any painting, maybe I should give that another crack. Fame isn’t just going to throw itself at me, you know?
Luna: But this cake might throw itself at you, if you don’t stop talking about being famous.
Harry: I’ll talk you round one day, you’ll see.
Pap: Look at the way he holds the brush! The sweeping strokes he makes over the canvas! Revolutionary.
Harry: *whistling songs from Les Mis*
Luna: Stupid attention seeking ass – I’ll show him. I’ll steal his spot in the limelight, and get super fit while doing it.
Pap: Ooh, a girl falling on her butt! This is far more interesting that anything that Harry could do!
Luna: This wasn’t quite what I had in mind…
This the face of rage and determination…
She also rolled her LTW.
Harry: I AM A MODERN DAY PICASSO! HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME FOR MY SISTER!
Pap: Ooh, things are heating up… Time to take notes.
Remus: You know, I’ve always been pretty lonely in my life… Yes, that’s right… No, I’m sure. I can handle this.
I wonder what he could possibly be doing…
Ginny: Mother, what’s going on? Who’s the weird guy on our balcony?
Bubbles: Ginny, that’s your father- Oh, you meant the paparazzi.
Ginny: Oh no, gates! The bane of my existence! Why did we spend like $30 of our thousands on this!?
Paps all over the balconies were annoying me, so I locked them out. That’ll show them!
Ginny is soon over her pain, and goes on to build a snowman. Luna is still working off her cake-stomach, and Harry contines to pain and dream of a life among the stars.
OH LOOK AT THIS! DOG PERSON ADOPTED A DOG!
I WONDER WHAT HE COULD POSSIBLY BE CALLED.
Sirius: I wonder.
He is loyal, friendly, and non-destructive.
Remus: This is the best decision I have ever made.