3.8.5 – The Best Troll Post Ever

Do you guys want to know something? Other than the fact I’m the biggest asshole loser on the planet (shown by the rest of this post), I actually asked Mia’s gender preference before the party.

And she said she was straight.

That inspired this post, which I think is something that would probably have happened somewhen between posts 3.8 and 3.9 (given the 8.5 bit)!
This is a ridiculous post, and hopefully it’s as much fun to read as it was to write!

Please enjoy!

(Ctrl click here for the song. Obviously some lyrics are changed.)


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Mia: Ah, an afternoon alone with my favourite hobby. No family to bother me, how could it get any better than this!?

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Michael: Oh, hi Mia!

Mia: Hi, Michael…

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Michael: Hey Mia, you’ll never guess what happened to me at the Winter Festival this morning! This guy was smiling at me and talking to me…

Mia: Mmm, that’s very interesting.

Michael: Mmhm, he was being really friendly and, huh, I think he was coming on to me! I think he might’ve thought I was gay.

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Mia: So uh, why you telling me this? Why should I care? I don’t care. What did you have for lunch today?

Michael: Aw, you don’t have to get all defensive Mi-

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Mia: I’M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!

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Mia: Oh, why do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I was trying to paint!

Michael: Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it, Mia. I-I just think it’s something we should be able to talk about.

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Mia: Well I do not want to talk about it,
Micahel, this conversation is over.

Michael: Well yeah, but Mia it-

Mia: OVER!

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Michael: Well, okay, but just so you know…

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Michael: If you were gay, that’d be okay. I mean ’cause, hey, I love you anyway!

Mia: Urgh.

Michael: Because you see, if it were meeeee, I would feel free to say that I was gay! But I’m not gay.

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Mia: Michael, please. I am trying to paint this picture!

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Michael:

Mia: What!?

Michael: If you were queer –

Mia: Ah, Michael!

Michael: I’d still be here!

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Mia: Michael, I am trying to paint this picture.

Michael: Year after yeeeear –

Mia: Michael!

Michael: Because you’re dear to me.

Mia: Argh!

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Michael: And I know that you –

Mia: What?

Michael: Would accept me toooo!

Mia: I would?

Michael: If I told you today, “Hey, guess what? I’m gay!”. But I’m not gay.

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Michael: I’m happy, just being with yoou!

Mia: I think that’s the right angle…

Michael: So what should it matter to me, what you do in bed with girls!?

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Mia: Michael, that is wrong!

Michael: No it’s not!

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Michael: If you were gaaaay, I’d shout ‘HOORAY’!

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Mia: I am not listening!

Michael: And here I’d stay!

Mia: LALALALALA!

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Michael: But I wouldn’t get in your way!

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Mia: ARGH!

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Michael: You can count on me, to always be beside you every day –

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Michael: – to tell you it’s okay, you were just born that way!

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Michael: And as they say, it’s in your DNA – YOU’RE GAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Mia: BUT I AM NOT GAY!

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Michael: If you were gay!

Mia: Argh!


2 thoughts on “3.8.5 – The Best Troll Post Ever

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