1.6 – The One With The Free Holiday

1.6

Last time we were here, Ella was chained to her art easel for ever, Eli Gordon was born and became a toddler, and Ella became a teen! Also, Ella completed the two portraits above. I’m pretty sure nothing else momentous happened?

Oh yes, the irresponsible ‘parents’ that are Lori and Joel Gordon took off on a free holiday, leaving new teen Ella with her two day old brother.

I don’t see what could possibly go wrong.

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See? Already off to a great start, with a nice nutritious and healthy breakfast!

Ella: This is literally the only thing in the fridge. I’m going to be sweating icing for the next two days.

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She’s actually a lot prettier than I gave her credit for, except when her eyes go all wide like that.

Ella: There’s so much sunlight out here. The air is so clean. Can’t I go somewhere dark that smells of oil paint?

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Nope, you have a small child to attend to!

Ella: I can do this. I can so do this.

Eli: My death is near.

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Ella: I got dis. Pro big sis 101.

… Sure.

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In a most unfortunate event, Patterns seems to have glitched, and hasn’t aged up or whatever they do and seems to be stuck in doll form.

Ella: My only friend from the outside world…

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Ella: You’re not actually all that bad, are you?

Eli: Take your paint-stained hands off of me!

Ella: Hey, I use brushes to paint with!

Eli: That portrait of Dad would suggest otherwise.

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Ella: Think of the heir poll, Ella. How proud will mum and dad be if they come home and find I’ve potty trained the brat – I mean my brother.

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Ella: So, Eli. We’re competing against each other to become head of this family when one of us reaches Young Adult. I’m so going to win.

Eli: I wouldn’t be so sure. My calculations show –

Ella: YOU ARE THREE DAYS OLD.

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Eli: Three days old? That explains the horrifying lack of bladder control.

Ella: You what now? I just want to play guitar.

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Apparently looking after a toddler and a house all by yourself at this age is so exhausting you can forget to put on pyjamas before you go to bed.

Ella: Don’t judge me until you’ve been in this position.

You’re right. The last child that came into my house and screamed constantly I threatened to throw out of the upstairs window.

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Another nutritious breakfast to start the day, huh?

Ella: It’s 2pm and I need the sugar fix.

Well, the little brother you abandoned is screaming in the other room.

Ella: He’ll survive.

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I genuinely love this child. He just doesn’t scream like Ella used to.

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Eli: And that’s why I’d make a better heir!

Pal: My antennae defies the laws of gravity.

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Eli: Feed me, slave 23!

Ella: U wot m8?

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Ella: Look at that salad I made. All by myself. I made it. Me. I did that. Now I’m cleaning dishes. I’m the best kid ever!

Have you fed Eli yet?

Ella: That’s irrelevant.

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Ella: I think this is Dad’s favourite song, he sings it a lot.

Ella: IT WOULD BE NICE, TO HAVE A BLOW JOB. IT WOULD BE NICE

I may have to have words with Joel.

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To quickly distract from… whatever Ella is doing outside, cute Eli spam!

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Eli: Hey Pal, wanna hear a joke?
One atom says to another atom “Oh no, I think I’ve lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?” Asks the other atom.
“Yes!” Says the first, “I’m positive!

Oh dear lord.

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Eli: SLAVE, I’M HUNGRY! Also I would like to be dressed, I’ve been wearing my pyjamas for the last three days.

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Ella: Pretending to care about this house is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I will voluntarily chain myself to that easel now, just keep me away from broken toilets forever.

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Ella: Ah yes, the sun is up. Time for bed.

School Bus: BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER.

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Not a moment too soon, the worst parents are home! Have a good ‘vaycay’ guys?

Lori: I think I still have concussion from that headboard…

Joel: I’m on a BOAT!

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Ah, Isla Paradiso… Routing errors galore.

How I love finding unroutable sims before Overwatch gets to them. BYE GUYS, SEE YOU IN THE NETHER!

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In the few minutes difference it took for Ella to leave the lot and Lori and Joel to arrive back on it, I was forced to hire this stupid baby sitter. Did she step foot inside the house?

No.

What did she do instead?

Try to have Bella jump under Hera’s hooves.

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As a reward for being such a great daughter and not destroying the house with a teen party (not like Ella actually has any friends to invite to a party, but that’s neither here nor there), Ella’s room has been renovated!

The beds are now parallel to the door, I hung the strange wedding present painting from Joel’s mother on the wall, and…

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An extension! The room is so bright, Ella won’t know what’s hit her.

Generations has to be one of my favourite expansions for the stuff, just look at that awesome shark beanbag!

I always wanted a beanbag as a kid…

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Old lady Bella!

Bella: Who are you calling old? I could still take you.

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Ella: Ever wondered what happens to all of that cake I eat? I store it in my cheeks.

Eli: Fascinating… No, I really don’t care. Have you seen Pal?

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Lori: I’m sick of upgrading appliances, let me go to town and wreck some sim-lives!

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And so that’s exactly what we did.

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Lori: Finally, the sunlight charm! I can begin curing those poor, unfortunate souls that have had the Todification curse inflicted upon them!

Does it really count as a ‘cure’ when you’re the one cursing them in the first place?

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Ella: You have to be kidding me, right?

Yikes.

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Eli: But I never learned to walk!

Ella: Learn on the job, bud. I need more cake.

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It seemed kind of fitting that Ella was the only one actually around for Eli’s birthday. I’d tried putting it off until everyone was home, but I was pushing it for him to age up autonomously and Ella needs her cake fix, so this happened!

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Huh. You did not turn out as bad as I thought you would.

Eli: As my calculations predicted, of course.

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If I see either of you pull that face ever again, I will eject you into the time stream and leave you at the mercy of EA’s story progression.

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Pal momentarily because a real imaginary friend, and turned invisible to everyone – Eli included.

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*meanwhile*

Ella: Patterns, please come back to normal!? You’re my only friend!

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Patterns remains firmly glitched, and has started becoming an ‘Unroutable Sim’

Ella: And truth be told I miss you…

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Ella: And truth be told I’m LYING!

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Joel: Sunshine, lollypops, and rainbows – everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together!

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Bella: You know, sometimes I refuse to acknowledge I live in this household, and would prefer to be swallowed by a shark. Sadly, that will never happen.

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Hey, remember weedy Joel from three chapters ago? Not so weedy any more!

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Hey Ella, with Prom coming up now is the perfect time to get grounded.

Also, Imaginary Friends are going to ruin my life.

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Prom was not in any way a huge deal, she changed into this strange creation, and shipped off to prom alone. All of her popups were super lame and I didn’t take screenshots of any of them. Boo me.

However, she did come home with a romantic interested named BIMBLE, of all things. I will be sure to dump him properly, when she finds a potential spouse. No repeats of earlier, thank you!

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Eli: Brain Freeze a-la-mode, the perfect meal for a scientist. Prom came precisely on schedule.

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Lori: Nobody’s cold in the slug-bag of sunshine!

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AIUGKSLIUKHKFJA WHAT.

How did this friendless loser get Prom Queen!? The crown is so cute though, I wish they could wear it or something. The future is bright for my Ella, apparently, though at the rate she’s going she’s gonna be single forever.


It’s 1am and I’m very tired… Goodnight and goodbye, people!

4 thoughts on “1.6 – The One With The Free Holiday

  1. Dat Hohenheim reference doe.

    What kind of kid names their imaginary friend “Pal?” You legit just called your friend “Friend”… like calling your baby “Child” or your puppy “Dog.” Gosh Eli, I thought you were supposed to be smart!

    Also…
    BIMBLE???
    XD

    Like

    • Hohenheim ❤

      EA have some really great names! Honestly cannot believe some of the stuff this game comes up with… I thought it was supposed to be semi realistic!? xD

      Like

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