1.3 – The One With All The Accidents

THREE

So, last chapter was pretty depressing (though it didn’t last long) with the accidental cheating and yelling and stuff. It wasn’t that long ago, so no recaps here!
On with Chapter three!

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Joel’s final trait was Equestrian, and his lifetime wish is The Jockey, which I had in a previous legacy and could never complete so I doubt I will this time either, but hey it’s worth a shot!

Meet Hera, a little foal dropped off near two Uni buckets (untouched, because really, is anybody on this lot smart enough to complete a degree?) who is shy and untrained.

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Cute bonding time between Joel and Hera! I’m terrible at looking after pets (Bella’s nearly been taken away twice and I’m getting sick of her constantly waking Lori up) so let’s hope this goes well…

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This is so much cuter than the monstrosity that was the way my old computer loaded horses…

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Clearly Joel is incredibly boring because Hera promptly fell asleep after he left.

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Lori: I don’t feel so good…

That doesn’t have anything to do with all the rotting food on the counters behind you, does it?

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Lori: Nope!

Thought not.

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This totally happened in real time…

Joel: Happy birthday, Hera!

Hera: I’m sparkly!

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As entertaining as it would be to watch Hera throw Joel into the dirt when he first tries to get on her, I figured it probably wouldn’t help me in the long run so lots of activities to fill the relationship bar!

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Hera: I’m a horse, not a haystack. You don’t need to climb me.

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Joel: I look fucking majestic. I have a flawless seat and I’m going to be a fantastic rider.

Hera: Wanna bet?

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Joel: I regret everything.

Hera: Feel sorry for me, I’ve got to cart you round town looking like that.

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Lori: Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to set the mailman on fire…

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Desperately attempting to boost her magic skills here…

Bella: If this blue shit interrupts my nap, I will claw you to death.

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Welp, that confirms it. Generation Two is officially on it’s way!

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Joel: WHERE ARE THE BREAKS!?

Hera: I’m a horse!

Please put your heels down… it’s hurting me.

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*WHUMP*

Hera: Thank god I’m shot of that idiot!

Joel: My butt is stuck in the ground!

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Meanwhile…

Lori: My spaghetti is fabulous.

*dramatic sigh*

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Joel: Well I got a brand new combine harvester and I’ll give you the key…

That’s a hay bale. It’s nothing like a combine.

Joel: I can dream, Harold!

….

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Hello there, friendly neighbourhood burglar!

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Burglar: MWAHAHAHA A DIRTY SINK, JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED!

Joel: There’s somebody in my house stealing my sink…

Cops: There’s a mouse pouring you a drink? I think you have the wrong line.

Joel: STEALING MY SINK!

Cops: We’ll send somebody right over.

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Joel: MY PREGNANT WIFE IS IN THIS HOUSE, SCUMBAG!

Burglar: I suddenly regret this decision.

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As scrawny as he is, the burglar must be even scrawnier because I didn’t even managed to get a photo of them fighting as it was literally over 0.7 seconds after it started. I’m actually impressed.

Joel: About time, too.

Burglar: I think my ass is seeing stars…

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Lori: OHMYGOD, a fight!

Your husband already beat him up in your defence. What now?

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Oh, finally the useless cop shows up.

Finally.

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I’m so mature.

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And what did our wonderful horse do throughout this entire fiasco, you ask?

Sleep.

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While the burglar stood outside by the car, the cop was inside busy checking out Joel the house for missing furniture, and we got everything back.

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Clearly, the lady cop was oblivious to the fact she was checking out a married man with a pregnant wife but, you know, looking at his face I can totally understand why she found him attractive.

Totally,

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Well, at least Lori’s happy.

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Joel: Thank you for cooking so much, your cooking is awesome!

Lori: Well, I need to do something productive while I’m carting this baby around, and I’m slightly nervous if I let you cook you’d burn the whole house down.

I never actually let her eat leftovers, she’s always cooking a new meal because SKILLING.

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Bella: She makes a good point. A fire would disturb my naps.

Joel: Finally, I have reached a level of riding where I look like a proper rider.

Lori: A proper idiot, more like!

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Joel: Hera, what was that for!

Hera: You may be able to keep your heels down, but you still can’t dismount without getting your leg stuck on the cantle? You deserve to fall on your ass.

For anyone who doesn’t know, the cantle is the bit at the back of the saddle that stick up into the air. Not the front, that’s the pommel.

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Honestly, every time she sees him on a horse she does this.

Lori: You look so stupid!

Joel: I am above you. Literally.

And I noobishly forgot to put the roof on, so enjoy that piece of sky that shouldn’t be there!

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Lori: Huh, the ice blast didn’t work.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR WAND TO FAIL!

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Because she needed so victims to practise magic on had the stir crazy moodlet, I sent her to the park, where she instantly proceeded to make herself a snowcone.

Lori: The baby wants me to.

Suure…

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Lori: Why do you have the same hair as my husband?

Random Dude: Why are you waving that thing at me!?

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RD: I’m surrounded by love hearts!?

Lori: *creepy sounding incantation*

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Though she does look pretty fuck cute right now.

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Holy shit, I take that back. She’s a psycho.

Lori: Finally, the subject is ready!

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Joel turned up not long after, I guess to stop his wife cursing the entirety of Isla Paradiso.

Wise move, dude.

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They’re literally one of the cutest sim couples I’ve ever had. Ew.

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Lori: Hahahaha, Joel is eating pancakes for breakfast!

Joel: Be quiet and eat your grilled cheese. I cannot wait until this baby is out of you.

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Anyone wondering where Bella is, she’s here! She spends like 90% of her time rolling around in the hay or napping.

Bella: You bet I do.

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In true Sims style, the second Lori stepped off the lot, this happened.

Lori: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEL!!!

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Aaaaand we’re done! Leave it for next time to see if Joel gets Lori to the hospital, and to see what our new potential heir/heiress is like!

6 thoughts on “1.3 – The One With All The Accidents

  1. Ahh, cliffhanger! I kinda hope they have a little girl witch with Lori’s red hair! That would be so cute. But their baby will be adorable either way. 🙂

    Like

  2. “Welp, that confirms it. Generation Two is officially on it’s way!” Haha, welp… whelp… I just needed to point out that pun. XD

    I really want to see Joel driving that hay bale around the field. Gosh, just let him dream.

    Joel get Lori to the hospital? Well, if it’s up to him, I dunno… 😛

    Like

    • YAY, somebody got it! 😀

      So I just had the insane mental image of Joel doing exactly that. Who needs a tractor when you have a hay bale!?

      Oh, just you wait… Things only get ‘better’!

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  3. Enjoying all the pet antics in your legacy, since I can’t have Pets on my laptop. Every other EP and SP and half the store, okay, but Pets, lags the shit out of it. So annoying. But anyway, Bella and Hera have awesome personalities. I would not be surprised if Joel tried to take Lori to the hospital on Hera…

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    • Ugh, that sucks. Mine gets a bit glitchy with it sometimes, MasterController spends it’s life resetting stuck pets, but mostly it runs okay. It’s one of the first I installed.
      They’re just so ‘take no shit’ and it’s fun to write. Yeah… Joel tries to go to work on Hera like every day, I have to force him to dismount and get into the work car… xD

      Liked by 1 person

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