I made it to the second post! That’s always a good sign! So last time witch Lori made her way through the guys in Moonlight falls, decided she didn’t like any of them and moved on to Isla Paradiso with her cat Bella after proving that she was good enough on a broom to rival the other fictional ginger witch.
Once in Isla Paradiso, she made friends with Joel Vida and ended up as his girlfriend.
Lori: What do you mean the other fictional witch!?
Lori: Joel, out of all three guys I’ve ever met, you’re easily the best. Still, you’d still be lucky to marry me. Want to?
Joel: *fangirl screaming*
Joel: Yes! *whispers in ear* I’m so gonna kick your butt at Rock, Paper, Scissors all the time now.
Lori: Well in that case, move in?
This is the first time I’ve ever actually had a sim move in before they got married. But I didn’t want them to get married straight away but I still wanted his money (
now I ain’t saying she a gold digger) and to make him playable as I planned on having them married anyway!
They’re so cute, they’re constantly doing shit like this autonomously all the time.
This picture only exists to show how completely stupid sims are.
I BUILT A HOUSE WITH JOEL’S MONEY (
but she ain’t messing with no broke niggas)!!
He brought $5000 plus a car and a boat! I’m tempted to sell the boat for $22,000 but that feels like cheating so I’ll hold on for it now.
Lori: Is that all the space we get?
Suck it up, you can’t afford a lot of space if you want windows and wallpaper!
Joel’s favourite colour is turquoise, so the wallpaper is a blue colour in his honour, and the carpet and bed are green for Lori!
The tiny blue bathroom!
Here’s the picture! Now you know why I couldn’t show it, it would show off the fact they have walls now!
It’s a lame photo, but I’m so gonna do another one when they have kids or whatnot.
Lori: HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME IN MY OWN LEGACY!?
… She looks so psycho.
Lori: You’re so hot, you need to CHILL!
…. I forgot all my witches are prone to this madness.
Lori: Hey Joel, guess who put out a fire by herself!
Joel: Yeah, but who started it in the first place?
Lori: That’s irrelevant. What’s important is the fact I’m better than you.
Joel: Whatever helps you sleep at night!
Obligatory boat picture. I’m still not over the fact there are boats in this game, and I’ve had it for a looong time now.
Joel: Oh yeah, look at me go.
*meanwhile back on the lot*
Bella: If this disturbs my nap, somebody is going to get a lot of bad luck.
Zombie: What am I supposed to do now?
Joel: This isn’t so bad.
Zombie: Oh right. Braaaaaaaaaaaaains.
Joel: I TAKE IT BACK!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED!
Joel: I love my fiancée so much.
Lori: What should I set fire to next?
I genuinely love this couple so much. They’re perfect for each other.
Lori: Joel, how could you!?
Wait… what’s happening?
Lori: I don’t even want to look at you right now. How could you do this to me? To her!? You told me you were SINGLE!
Joel: Lori I’m so sorry!
So, what actually happened here is that when he aged up to YA, he left his teen romantic interest Holly Alto behind, so when Lori asked if he was single he said yes, because he was. Then when she aged up to young adult they basically resumed their ‘relationship’ and he became a cheater. Boo 😦
Lori: I am so humiliated! Don’t bother coming home.
Then she left.
Joel: Holly, I need to talk to you.
Holly: What do you want?
Joel: I’m engaged to Lori Gordon, and we’re finished.
Holly: How could you do this to me?
Joel: You were my romantic interest in high school! I’m engaged now. Don’t speak to me again.
They became enemies. Poor Joel, poor Lori 😦
Joel: Lori, I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.
Lori: Flowers!? You think you can make this up to me with FLOWERS?
Lori: I think you should leave.
He spent the night outside in the sleeping bag autonomously (I’d left it outside for future use because I like them and hadn’t had chance to put it in the family inventory yet), it was so sad.
Joel: Lori, I’m so sorry, please give me another chance!
Lori: I’ll think about it.
*the next day – trying to get rid of her ‘Betrayed moodlet’
Joel: So here I am, I’m trying.
Lori: ARE YOU SINGING BLINK-182 LYRICS TO ME!?
Lori: I AM SO FREAKING MAD AT YOU!
Joel: Believe me, I’m sorry.
The betrayed moodlet had finally gone at this point and she started accepting all of his interactions.THANK GOD! LORI YOU’RE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.
Joel: I’m so sorry I broke your heart!
Lori: Who said anything about breaking my heart?
Oh yeah, I forget you don’t have a heart!
Joel: Let’s start this again, for real.
I actually want to puke right about now. They are so goddamn cute.
Not sure why Lori’s hair seems to be floating all the time (or why I’ve only just noticed), but they’re married now and all is forgotten (sort of) and we can move on with the legacy!
Joel and Lori: Person person plus.
I didn’t realise until after that I had my sound effects audio turned off, so I’ve no idea if there was a lullaby or not 😦 I tried again a couple of times with no luck so I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Lori: Master chef at work!
I may not be the best person to say this as I’ve set fire to toast and burned my thumb on a boiled egg, but I didn’t think you were supposed to pour milk straight onto the chopping board?
Lori: Master. Chef.
Bella: Well if it goes on the floor there’ll be some for me.
Bella: She didn’t spill any. Fuck this witch.
Joel somewhere out of shot: I did!
Lori: Joel… what did you just say?
Joel: RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Lori: Remind me again why I’m married to him?
I’ve no idea, honestly.
And that’s it! Lori needs to improve her magic skill in order to be able to perform the Sunlight Charm to cure zombies and toads, so she’s magically upgrading every object in the house!
Sorry this was a bit dark, I promise it gets better next time!